Retired from productivity. Still accepting snacks.

This tee features a dangerously relaxed pinniped (yes, we looked that up) flaunting shades and the unshakable confidence of someone who’s never heard of Slack. Whether you’ve earned your burnout or just dress like it, this shirt says, “I’ve let go—and it’s going great.”
 
Details for the Detail-Oriented:
 
Soft, breathable cotton blend that survives naps, sand, and your neighbor Chad’s acoustic guitar
Classic unisex fit—flattering, not clingy
Side seams for structure. No structure in life, but at least here.
 
When to Wear:
Anywhere people might ask what your 5-year plan is
First dates, second lunches
While staring blankly into the sea, contemplating nothing in particular